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Oobi Lost Episode (Angry German Accents!)
I always loved the one, and only, Oobi. It was a show made by everyone's favorite Wonder Pets creator, Josh Selig. It features Oobi and his pals (such as Uma, Kako, Grampu, and many others) in a show where they do some hysterical series of segments, game, and interviews. However, not everything is good in the world of Oobi, for there is a lost episode of Oobi that I found on tape the other day. I was working as a bell hop for the Books Hotel. A 4-star hotel in Pennsylvania that everyone goes to, either for vacation or if nobody has a place to go. While working with a man that's dressed like Randy from Oobi to a hotel room, I saw that he was holding a VHS tape, that said, as I read it as clear as the dawn of light, Oobi's Lost Episode, typed in the horrible Comic Sans MS font, and has a weird copyright date, which was 2012. Funny, so that makes no sense. I asked for the VHS tape, he said no, so I snuck behind him and grabbed the tape from him without noticing, as I ran to my work room. Of course, nobody was in the work room. I was alone. So hey, maybe it was the day off and I didn't get a day off. I'm more excited about watching Oobi on VHS! I hope it's funny! Well, the spark of hope was gone when I set up the TV, put the tape in the VCR, and pushed play. The opening played, but it looked different that oobi and the singer was crying the theme song, then he yells out "WHY AM I DOING THIS? THIS IS TORTURE!" The singer who cries theme song some more, but and the end of the intro had Oobi, in Under Oobi's Logo, looking disappointed. He then yells in a more aggressive tone, "Oobi, No, Friends. Wooooooooo!" and instead of him chuckling, he vomits out green meat from his mouth. Gross. Then, the show starts. The title card began. Oobi said: "Oobi, Angry German Accents!" Then the episode started. It began with Oobi and Kako arguing, like some type of funny argument, and then when Oobi speaks, he says, "We got a great Halloween Special tonight!" Wait, was this really a Halloween special? Curiously, I continued watching. Then when Uma appeared on the screen, Kako yells at him out of nowhere, "I'll show you how to make a Halloween special!" as he grabbed a propane tank, out of nowhere, and shoved the valve into her mouth! "Buck Strickland, forgive me for using propane for this." said a voice of Hank Hill, out of nowhere. Wait, was that the voice of Mike Judge, or an older man? Was Mike Judge even popular yet? The second skit was with Uma, standing on one leg with a noose on his forehead, while holding a chicken. "Now," said Uma, "I will shove this chicken up my butt!" Woah, you can't do it! And shoving the chicken up his butt? That's inappropriate for a family show. And guess what, he literally shoves his chicken up his butt! He yelled, "And next up, I'm gonna vomit green meat!" and he vomited rainbows and green meat. I'm starting to think that this isn't a real Oobi episode, let alone a Halloween episode. We cut to Grampu and Inka in the balcony. Grampu said, "Man that sure was a pasta." Inka asks, "Well, why did you say that?" and Grampu responded, "Because it wasn't creepy enough!" and they laugh. Next up, Angus came to the stage, and with a weird, angry German accent. "What do you get when you make the lost episode?" he yelled. "By putting this episode on VHS!" Wait, you mean this lost episode? THIS EPISODE?! Oh my god, I can't bel- well, I guess it was more of a satire. Then, he ran and kicked Grampu, and we see highly realistic slime, which could rip Josh Selig and his family to tears. This is when Grampu was screwing the Pot, and Uma was crying out of nowhere. The next part scared the shit out of me, and I mean, FOR REAL. (I hope red meat didn't come out of my ass) We see Grampu again, but he had a voice of a deranged old man with an Esperanto accent. (which I didn't mind, I mean, I'm not ethnically racist or anything) and talked like a member of the gang. "Listen up, motherfuckers!" he said, "I'm about cook some chicken! Some fried chicken? And turn them into creepypastas, Let them shove my butt!" What's with that? Last time I checked, this show was for the whole family! I guess not. So he grabs Uma's chicken, and cuts it up with hyper-realistic blood. Eww. He impales the head, breast, and two legs of the chicken and eats it raw? Gross! I almost vomited. Then, he puts a gold chain on, and wore gold teeth, and hard to believe this but, he starts rapping, as he takes out his boombox and a shitty beat started to play. Yo, I'm Grampu and I'm here to tell y'all, if you like McDonalds or Subway, Go to Taco Bell, y'all Because they have tacos that will make y'all shit your pants Since them motherfuckers are 99 cents! I typed the lyrics up in Comic Sans, While getting tasty tacos to my fans, As I read the book, The Catcher of the Rye while masturbating to Poetry Pie! The worms from the show are super skeletons! And I am Mr. Bones and I weigh a ton! $576, up my dick! Do you wanna watch an episode of The Tick? Ride Mr. Bones' Wild Ride and then I'll get you, Just let me go ahead and eat my shoe! I'm Grampu (pronounced Grand-Poo!) and I got a dollar bill to buy a skeleton costume, for this ain't a drill! Then, Uma appears out of nowhere and starts screaming, "OH MY GOD!" and shoves Grampu's chicken up his ass! "Now, I will scream and cry for Brum. Does anyone remember that TV show of a car-like truck mix named Brum? I don't know!" Then, Randy appeared. Well, actually more like the guy that I stole the VHS tape from. Wait, it is him! Hell, he looks like him except more sinister. Oobi comes in and introduces himself to Randy, but then Uma starts screaming in agony some more. Grampu and Inka appear in the balcony again. Grampu said, "Looks like Oobi is like an onion!" and Inka said, "Yeah, and that's why he has layers!" as they laugh, but more sinisterly. We cut to Randy drinking Mountain Dew soda, assuming that he's promoting Mountain Dew. "It's not easy being green." Oobi said out of nowhere, as he took a taco, and cover his skin, only to reveal Taco Oobi. The episode then faded to black, as I saw was a demon version of Crash, in the center of the screen. He said, "Happy Halloween, handerfuckers!" The last shot of the episode was with Oobi stuck with Tacos. I questioned myself on why I saw this episode. I mean, what was this trash? The recent episode of the Oobi? This was how they would end Oobi? I mean, what the hell? I hear a knock on the door. It was Randy (Performed by Kevin Clash himself). I tried to contact the police as he said, "No way to get to the phone. You're now a hand." I raised my left eyebrow, question what he meant. And yes, it means that he's gonna turn me into a hand. He grabbed the strings, trying to choke me, and I froze. Looks like I am a hand. He tangled me, and slammed my head to the wall! And the last thing I saw, before fainting, was Randy drinking Mountain Dew. Well, as the old saying goes... obey your master. At least i woke up from that coma before i told you guys this story.